i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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