I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
