So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
