first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
