oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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