Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
