The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
