Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
