Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
