The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
