Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Randomize
