Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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