Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
