I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize