What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
