Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
