You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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