I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
