So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
