I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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