I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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