He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
