I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
