Don't you send me to vm
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
