just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
