To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
