I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
