I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Randomize
