I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Randomize
