How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
did i walk over a car last night?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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