let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Randomize