idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize