guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
