I love black thongs
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
