I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
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