Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize