Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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