He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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