Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
the day after is always just damage control
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
