remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize