is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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