You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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