and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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