I'm drive I can fine osifer
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
