so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
