Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
