I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
