Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Randomize
