Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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