Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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