i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
