I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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