Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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