I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
