you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
