so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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