I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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