the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
