Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
