actually, I'm a sock model
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
