haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
