I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize
