so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
