if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
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