you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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