dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
