There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
