my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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