I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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