i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize