i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he was CRYING into my vagina
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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