I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
