We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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