I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
