That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
