I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
