Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
