No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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