the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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